Becoming Happier: We Can Choose to Be Happy at Any Moment

as how to get married, how to raise children, how to do well at work, and how to resolve social injustice and inequality in the world. At first glance, they appear to be different questions, but if you look closely, they are all ultimately about how to be happy.

Becoming Happier is the response to this most common of questions. It is basically a guidebook to happiness, composed of carefully selected content from the many conversations Ven. Pomnyun Sunim has had, especially those that garnered the most empathy and enthusiasm. The book focuses on the question of where true happiness comes from, and unlike existing books that only focus on cultivating your mindset as an individual, Becoming Happier also addresses social issues.

Then, what is the path to happiness according to Ven. Pomnyun Sunim? He says that in order to free ourselves from suffering and become truly happy, we need to gain insight and see the full picture. His point is that when we clearly know the cause of our unhappiness, we can find a way to solve the problem. This logic behind happiness is objective yet heartwarming and simple yet clear and can help all those who want to be happy but feel lost because they do not know the way.

Instead of grand theories or idealistic concepts detached from real life, Becoming Happier is a book that explains how to solve specific problems that cause us suffering in our daily lives. As a result, Ven. Pomnyun Sunim’s remarks are direct, even blunt, as they go into the heart of the matter. Nevertheless, there is no doubt that Ven. Pomnyun Sunim speaks with compassion, which makes his advice not only specialized to the individual questioner’s circumstances but also truly comforting.

Contents

PREFACE

You Have the Right to Be Happy Regardless of Your Life Situation

Part 01 /

Why Doesn’t Life Turn Out

the Way We Want It to?

Choice and Self-Contradiction

Between the Ideal and the Real

Walk Out of the Prison of the False Sense of Self

The Secret to Happiness

Setting an Aspiration After Letting Go of Greed

Time Lag Between the Cause and the Effect

Part 02 /

Feelings Are

Formed Habits

Freedom from Likes and Dislikes

Anger, the Inner Fuse That We Ourselves Ignite

Neither Suppressing nor Venting Anger: A Third Path

When Feeling Indignant About Not Having Retorted to What Someone Said

Turning Old Wounds into Life Assets

Regret Is Clinging onto Past Mistakes

Anxiety Is the Result of an Obsession with the Future

Superiority Complexes and Inferiority Complexes Come from the Same Place

Feelings Arise, Stay, Change, and Disappear

Formed Habits Can Be Changed

Part 03 /

How to Live with People Who

Have Different Opinions from Yours

All Conflicts Stem from Relationships

A Good Person Versus a Bad Person

No One Has Everything in This World

Conditions for a Happy Marriage

Are You Living a Good Life or a Life That Looks Good to Others?

The Boss Who Teaches You the Middle Way

Most Relationships Are Based on Selfishness

Give-and-Take Is a Transaction, Not Love

Life Will Feel Empty If You Live with a Sense of Responsibility

Dependence is the Seed of Resentment

Stop Interfering in Other People’s Lives

All the Trees Together Make a Forest

Part 04 /

Do Not Build Your Happiness

on Other People’s Misfortune

What Is True Success?

Do Not Build Your Happiness on Other People’s Misfortune

Desire Is Like a Burning Log

Three Levels of Needs: Need, Desire, and Greed

The Individual Is the Seed and Society Is the Field

When Two Hunters Catch Three Rabbits

Become an Example First Before Criticizing Others

How to Be Happy and Benefit Others at the Same Time

Part 05 /

Practice Being Happier Today

Than Yesterday

Letting Go of Judgments

Insightfulness, the Wisdom of Seeing the Whole

The Choice Between Conflict Escalation and Mutual Benefit

The Merit of Comforting Others

Different Levels of Love

Happiness Lies in Doing Something Fun and Rewarding

How to Organize Your Time to Live Happily

We Can Choose to Be Happy at Any Moment